Do You Understand the Difference?

Whose fault/responsibility is my life? Mine or someone else’s?


The words fault and responsible  are sometimes thought of as synonymous when in reality they mean totally different things. I hadn’t muddled this thought through totally, but I understood that I am responsible for my recovery and behavior and that making those things someone else’s fault lessens my power to get well. Then I saw the video featured below by Will Smith, and things became crystal  clear.

I found some very telling definitions of these two words in an online dictionary:

Fault– Responsibility for a mistake or an offense.

Responsibility- The obligation to carry forward an assigned task to a successful conclusion. With responsibility goes authority to direct and take the necessary action to ensure one’s success.

Here Are My  Thoughts

Fault–To place the blame for my behavior and illness on the offenses of others is a natural thing to do, but it accomplishes nothing. It is a natural place to begin the healing process from trauma, but in the end, after all has been learned of what happened it becomes a heavy liability.

Responsibility– The determination of whether I get well and live well is up to me. I am responsible for all my actions, thoughts and attitudes today. I will do what is necessary to ensure that I get as far as I can go in life, and accept the blame when I fail as well as enjoy the limelight when I succeed.

Blaming others for my failures today is ridiculous. Blaming my alters for things that I do is also ridiculous. They ARE ME and I AM THEM! Anything I do in a dissociated state IS my fault!

This is a very hard lesson to grasp and to pull into one’s heart, but once it is done wow! The power!!!

Listen to Will Smith, and just consider what this post has said. Shirley




4 thoughts on “Do You Understand the Difference?

  1. You bet! Taking responsibility is more than just committing to wellness, it’s also giving yourself the permission to thrive in your life and not just survive. We are amazing people who adapted in a truly remarkable way. There is no shame in taking the gifts of DID and turning our alters into co-conspiritors for wellness.


    1. There are so many who do not seem to understand this and they get very angry when confronted with the truth. Thank you for this feedback, it is very helpful.


  2. There is still muddle in your thinking, and here’s its source: response-ability is just that. Power. Ability to act, to respond. If responsibility exists it confers NO inherent obligation.

    Responsibility is usually confused with accountability, because numerous would-be moral authorities want to tell us HOW we should use our response-ability. Do the wrong thing and you are bad, they tell us. That may work for a three year old, but not for a conscious adult.

    Free people get to decide how to use their power. They also get to choose a moral framework by which to evaluate how they use their power. Choice is the key word here. Don’t let someone take your choice away.

    If you are mindlessly thinking that because you have power you have obligation, or you ought to act in a certain way, you have been manipulated. Get conscious. Look at your options. Decide where you want to go. Make your life your own.

    I can’t control how people evaluate or judge me (and those are not the same thing), but I can acquire awareness and then make choices about how I evaluate myself. That’s how I become ever more free.

    Responsibility and accountability are not the same. Separate them and life gets a lot less muddled!


    1. I was really comparing responsibility and fault. I’ve answered you on google plus so I won’t reiterate. Thank you Tom. Your comments always cause me to pause and think. Shriley


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