Harnessing Fear to Win

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Hi everyone. I apologize for not being here yesterday, but my uncle Arthur was acting up and I was in a lot of pain. Therefore, I took care of myself.

I also wanted to explain why I had reposted the article Why Our Men Are Not Okay. I originally posted it on a weekday and wanted to be sure that folks had a chance to read it on the weekend.

Now for today’s tidbit of sage advice LOL from me!

The worst use of fear ever invented is the fear that perpetrators hold over innocent children.

They threatened us and used fear to keep us in line and not tell their secrets.

As a fully functioning adult, I have learned that harnassing my fear to propel me forward has been a huge asset. When I began to truly understand the harm that my abusers had done to me, I was filled with rage and was terrified that I would never be capable of overcoming that damage.

One day my therapist Paula lit a fire under my butt.

I had been sitting in her office for several months complaining and moaning about what a victim I was and how I wanted to die.

She looked at me and said words that changed my outlooks and helped me realize I should fight, fight fight!

She sat back in her office chair and said, “Shirley, do you want to let the bastards win?”

I stared at her because I didn’t know what she meant.

Seeing she had my full attention, she continued, “If you kill yourself you are allowing the bastards who hurt you win. They will have proved that nothing happened and that you were just a crazy person who was making wild claims. Is that what you want? Or do you want to fight and win the war they waged on you from the time you were tiny? It’s your choice.”

Paula was so wise. She knew that by turning the energy I was spending moaning about what they had done to me I could harness it and make them losers, not me.

I took the rage and the fear then propelled myself to where I am now.

I may not be perfect, and may not ever be totally healed, but I am not a loser and I am still alive!!!!!

Courage doesn’t mean you aren’t afraid, because God knows healing takes a lot of guts.

No, Courage is harnassing your fear and using it to make the bastards lose and yourself into a winner!